Mark.

One simple word conjures up so many different feelings.

None of love, or even much of caring any longer. A lot of humanistic concern, sympathy, and compassion.

A little anger, fading still after just over a year... Anger that i didn't realize i had until today.

It doesn't really matter, as i learned today, the why's of how he hurt me, or how i let him, or any other such theatrics. What matters is what i believe in my heart, and how i interpret that.

And i believe that he did care, and that he did what he thought was best for what we had at the time. i think he lied because he didn't expect to actually care for me, and by the time he realized that he did in fact care, it's akward to explain to someone what hardly anyone ever accepts without anger --honesty--

*nodding* And yeah, i believe he'd probably tell me today about how i need help and how skewered a head i've got, but you know what?

1-i'm getting help for the things i need on
2-it doesn't matter, cause none of it can touch me any longer.

i wish him the best, and hope, for his sake and also for those that he can't be honest with but oh so good to, that he will himself get some help.